Marching To The Beat Of A Different Reality

Monday, August 15, 2016

Late Bloomer

I was a late bloomer. 

Well, that's not quite accurate - I was an early starter, it just took me a really long time to capitalize on life. I was married at 19, had a baby by 20 and divorced when I was 27. I started college at 26 because, as with everything else in my life, I knew pretty much all there was to know, so what could college offer? 

Though I was raised in a Christian household, the concept never really 'took' for me. I flirted with church when my daughter was little, but that quickly went by the wayside and once into my college sojourn in the biological sciences, I was well and often assured of the fact that science was my only God. 

Beyond agnostic, I harshly shunned anyone who attempted to 'save my soul' and simply refused to darken the door of a church. 

One morning, I crawled out of my tent (I was often in the 'field' doing research), only to be captivated by the sunrise. As the sun peered over the horizon, it seemed to fill the entire sky with colors the likes of which I'd never seen before. At that moment, I experienced a feeling that told me I was wrong; science wasn't God, God was God and science was a result of his actions on and within the universe. Unfortunately, the feeling was brief, but that experience stayed with me as a kind of truth I couldn't confront, but couldn't dismiss either. 

Like a seed waiting in the ground for the right time to sprout, it lay dormant, it's mere presence constantly scratching at the edges of my consciousness. One day, several years after I graduated college and David and I settled down in our first little home, the seed began to grow. I began to really think on my place in the world, read devotionals and consider the merits of belief in sincerity. 

It wasn't until I became pregnant with our first son that we began to attend, and then become actively involved in, a church. Even then, it wasn't until the death of our second son (when I was 40) that I found a true relationship with, and understanding of, Jesus Christ and discovered how to order my life around my complete faith in Him as the Son of God. It's funny, but when I look back now, I see the hand of God over so many specific things in my life - even those from before I had any faith at all - that I can see that he called to me for decades before I answered. 

Is Jesus calling you? Don't wait any longer to answer His call!